


Death God

by bewear



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mild Gore, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:53:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24593335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bewear/pseuds/bewear
Summary: Angst drabbles that I might post more chapters for.
Relationships: Fudou Yuusei/Kiryuu Kyousuke
Comments: 5
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

The pain Kiryu felt inside, it seemed to echo with every breath he took. A breath he didn’t think he deserved to take. 

He had hurt Yusei, he had tried to kill Yusei, the man that he loved a long time ago. He was a pathetic hateful person who shifted between life and death, he wasn’t of this world. 

He shouldn’t even be alive again, what was his purpose now if he wasn’t guided by hatred. He was just empty inside, the pain was the only thing that reminded him he was alive. 

Kiryu’s body was covered in scrapes, bruises, both thick and thin scars. Yet another reminder of his mistakes, the nights he would lift up his sleeves to trace the scars on his arms. 

Everything was painful, he often wished that he could have just died after Yusei defeated him. He wasn’t satisfied after getting his revenge. 

If anything it made him crave desperately to undo his mistakes, mistakes that he thought would quell his thirst for revenge. 

Yusei wanted to save him, the Kiryu of the past, his best friend. But that Kiryu died when team satisfaction split into fragments because of him and his desire for power. 

He felt so alone, but he had known he would push anyone important out. He didn’t deserve to be in their lives again, he would atone by digging his own grave. He craved to lay in the dirt as it piled on top of him. 

To have the dirt fill his lungs, to feel like he couldn’t breathe. For every breath he took as a human that he didn’t deserve to finally cease. 

He felt like the weight of the dirt pressing him into the ground would weigh less than his sins did. He welcomed this fate, to be buried, to disappear from this world. But he couldn’t, part of him still pulled him out of the hole, said that he wasn’t finished with his time on earth. 

Being given another chance at life after he was reincarnated yet again felt like a curse. Like God hated him so much he would force him to relive his agonizing pain from his memories every second of his life. 

The way nightmares would grip him every night, the images of Ccapac Apu crushing Yusei with his enormous body. Seeing Yusei lie on the ground, his d-wheel having given up on him. The blood oozing out of a large gash on his chest, he caused that, he hurt him. 

He hurt the man who he loved the most, this was what he thought he wanted but he was wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting in a bar, buzzed with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, Kiryu couldn’t help but think about what led him to this point. 

The bartender didn’t give a shit about carding people in Crash Town so he could order as much alcohol as he wanted. 

He was tempted to knock back another glass of whiskey just to escape the thoughts looming in his head. 

Finally taking a drag from the cigarette then dropping the ashes on the bar counter, the nicotine eased his mind. 

He had picked up smoking and drinking during his Team Satisfaction days. Yusei never approved of it, but Kiryu didn’t expect Yusei to ever support these self destructive habits he was developing to cope. 

The darkness in his brain seemed to ease, to temper when he smoked a pack and knocked back a few glasses of alcohol. 

He couldn’t cope with the burdens and guilt he carried any other way. He was meant to destroy himself, it was the only thing he was good at, he wasn’t meant to live among other humans. He wasn’t meant to live in society, to be “normal” he was destined to self destruct. 

Spending almost every waking moment dead inside, thoughts stagnated because if he let them flow it would break his facade. Laying in bed was when he felt the worst because there was nothing to contain the flood of memories that overwhelmed him. 

The thoughts of Yusei, of Yusei saying he couldn’t be with him anymore, of Yusei screaming at him when Kiryu was getting ripped away by security. 

He thought he drank to forget, but he would never forget. This was his sin to carry until he died again, but as a human this time. Him sinking into Yusei’s arms, the smile that split across his face in that moment, that moment he felt true peace. 

But it didn’t satisfy him, he was terrified that he wasn’t satisfied, what would satisfy him. Reviving yet again with no motive, no drive to keep pushing forward like what compelled him in Team Satisfaction, and as a dark signer. Why was he still alive? Drifting through life, through every duel at sunset, praying to die. 

Praying to die like he was in his prison cell, starving and scarred with bruises littering his entire body. 

He had attempted to murder a security member which gave them enough reason to make his life a living hell. What would Yusei say if he saw him now? 

Just a pathetic shell of the person he used to be. An utter waste of space, of oxygen. The bags under his eyes weighed as heavy as the pain in his heart, begging Kiryu to rest for more than an hour at a time. 

He wished sleep was an escape from his living hell, but he would have dreams filled with his agonizing mistakes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are some random Kiryu/Yusei fics with no relationship to each other or to the other two previous chapters.

CW: blood, gore for first two 

\--

The beast inside Kiryu hungered, hungered to tear the flesh off his enemies’ bones. Desire to crunch the bones of his enemies, to watch the blood pool on the floor. He was obsessed with the thoughts that consumed his every waking second. Kiryu would only be satiated with blood dripping from his stained teeth and body, to be able to grasp the still beating heart inside their chest. His heart was defective, it was as if it never existed, maybe if he took someone else’s he’d feel something. His enemies' screams would only fuel him further, to make them suffer as he had.

\---

Yusei laid on the ground, his blood pooling from the gash in his side and dripping down his skin in rivulets. Kiryu bent down, tracing his finger down the duelist’s chest before settling it next to the open wound. Yusei was starting to stir when he felt his gaping wound being penetrated by Kiryu’s finger. Kiryu loved the agonizing expression on Yusei’s face as more blood leaked out and soaked his hand. He laughed as he withdrew his finger, resting his face in his bloodied hand, smearing it on his neck and face. Kiryu loved this, loved this feeling, loved the suffering he was inflicting onto Yusei, retribution for his own pain. Yusei finally opened his eyes fully and tried to sit up, but doubled down in pain. Yusei moaned out “Kiryu….. “ The pain was beginning to hit him, a strong burning in his side. He stared at Kiryu and the blood coating his face, the blood matted in his hair, still wet.

\---

Growing up in Satellite with his best friends was one of the things that got Yusei through his rough childhood. He could never imagine the events that unfolded when him, Jack, Crow, and Kiryu formed Team Satisfaction. A group determined to conquer Satellite. They would take back this hell town, then they would finally be satisfied. Yet when they blacked out the entire map it wasn’t enough for Kiryu. The transformation Yusei witnessed Kiryu go through, he was losing himself. The demons swirling around in his head and in his heart were becoming his moral compass. Kiryu’s former kind self was gone, despite this Yusei prayed desperately that it laid under the layers of darkness. Maybe he should have left when Jack and Crow did. But he cared about Kiryu too much to leave him, he loved him. But maybe it was a mistake, just foolish teenage love. Yusei’s heart began to waver as he witnessed his best friend trap weak duelists. Yet, every night, curled up on a small cot with Kiryu clinging to his back with his breath on his neck, he wavered still. This was love, but it wasn’t right.

\---

Kiryu had no one left, he only had Yusei. They were the final remnants of Team Satisfaction. He knew Yusei would inevitably leave him too. His quest for power had ruined him, he left the dregs of everything he once had slipping through his fingers. He thought he could lose it all with no cares, yet the tears stinging the corners of his eyes were a giveaway. He fucked up, he would never forget the hurt, the pain in Yusei’s eyes. It was time for Yusei to exit his life too. Staring at his back as he walked away, Kiryu thought that being impaled with a knife would hurt less. He decided at that moment that bonds were worthless. He could take on security on his own, he didn’t need them. He didn’t need the friends that betrayed him, that didn’t understand him.

\---

Kiryu liked to take risks and live life on the edge. Yusei was more cautious and thought out the things he did. He’d never ride his d-wheel without a helmet, but Kiryu loved to ride his d-wheel without a helmet. Convincing Yusei to ride on his bike, neither of them wearing a helmet was difficult. Yet he felt Yusei’s head pressed into his back, his arms wrapped around his waist. The wind blowing in his silver locks and the way Yusei smiled into his shoulders, nothing else could feel as good as this. 

\---

“You don’t know what you do to me, do you?” Kiryu gripped Yusei’s arms in his fists desperately, “The things you make me feel, no one else makes me feel like this, and you have no idea.” He looked down away from Yusei’s concerned gaze. “Yusei, I love you, I think I always have.” Yusei lifted up Kiryu’s chin to look into his eyes. Tears were streaming down Kiryu’s face as he loosened the grip he had on Yusei’s arms. Yusei moved in to press his lips gently against Kiryu’s, he didn’t care that Kiryu was sobbing into their kiss. Pulling away he pushed up Kiryu’s bangs to gently kiss away his tears. “I can’t take away the pain I gave you for so long, but let me try.”

\---

**Author's Note:**

> im a simple man i like kiryu what can i say


End file.
